


5x18: Honesty vs. Happiness

by nightbirdrises



Series: S5 Reaction Drabbles [18]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Reaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 20:04:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1562354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightbirdrises/pseuds/nightbirdrises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine tries to find a way to make his lie into truth - but fails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5x18: Honesty vs. Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> ([tumblr](http://princehummel.tumblr.com/post/84663592706))

Lying to Kurt sucks, plain and simple.

Even worse is lying to Kurt when he’s so excited, all adorably enthusiastic for a performance that - as of yet - doesn’t exist. Blaine tells himself that he’ll be honest the next day, before this goes too far. But he wakes up to a voicemail from Kurt, who had an early class today:

"Good morning, sweetheart! Before you start feeling all guilty, it’s okay that you didn’t pick up the phone. You’ve been so busy, so I don’t blame you for sleeping in when you can. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that while I’m obviously not supposed to know about it, I am  _so_  excited for this showcase. We’re going to make it big! Together! God, I can hardly believe it.

"Oh, I have to go, our mime instructor is… gesturing something very rude." Kurt huffs, and Blaine knows he’s rolling his eyes. "Everyone in this school is insane. I’ll see you at lunch! I love you!"

Blaine turns his face into his pillow and groans. “I’m screwed,” he mumbles to no one in particular. How can he tell Kurt the truth now? He’d break his heart.

 _It wouldn’t be the first time_ , a voice says in his head. Blaine pushes the voice away; this isn’t him cheating on Kurt, it’s just… trying to make him happy after the blatant rejection he’d received at June’s hands. Kurt hasn’t said anything about being hurt - he isn’t the kind of person who advertises his feelings for the world to see unless there’s a very good reason to do so - but Blaine knows him. When he’s not insisting that Blaine’s success is the key to succeeding together, or that Blaine deserves this opportunity, he’s unnaturally quiet on the subject.

Unfortunately, it’s not only Kurt’s happiness that holds Blaine’s tongue. It’s the feeling of being recognized by such an influential person in the arts, it’s wanting that confidence back in full that he once had in spades. He’s been getting better, of course - both on his own and with Kurt’s sweet reassurances and touches. But getting this once-in-a-lifetime shot… it feels amazing.

Aside from the fact that it comes at the cost of Kurt’s talent being ignored and even belittled, that is. Frankly, Blaine wishes he’d have insisted on Kurt singing a solo for June - that’s his strong point, and she might have had a different idea about him after such a performance. However, ‘might have’ is useless at this point. Now he’s telling his fiancé a lie just to keep him from hurting again when he should know perfectly well that this won’t work out in favor of either of them.

Well, unless he can change June’s mind, and quickly. But subtly, too, because he can tell already that the woman is tired of listening to Blaine sing his praises for Kurt, a person that she thinks isn’t or shouldn’t be a significant part of Blaine’s life, all because it’s a ‘first love’ that they share. Well, she’s wrong - of that, at least, Blaine is certain - and he’s going to prove it, prove that Kurt deserves just as much as he does even if for some crazy reason they’re  _not_ going to end up together.

Blaine gets himself out of bed and checks the time. He has about two hours before he’s supposed to meet Kurt for lunch, and he intends to use them well. After he’s dressed and the bed is made to his satisfaction, Blaine sits on the couch in the living room and calls June, his fingers tapping his thigh anxiously.

"Blaine," June says grandly. "I was hoping I would hear from my star today. You see, there is a  _lovely_  restaurant in Manhattan run by one of my good friends, and I think you would benefit from meeting him. We can take lunch over there today. What do you say?”

"I’m very sorry Miss Dolloway, but—" June tuts, interrupting him.

"No, enough of this miss and madam nonsense. I want to work with you as a friend, remember."

Blaine rubs his forehead, says, “Okay.”

"Thank you, dear. Now, what is it?"

"I sort of have plans to meet Kurt for lunch, and I’d really rather not skip out… you know, again." He refrains from mentioning that Kurt would be upset if Blaine  _didn’t_  go on his little outings with June, as convinced as he is that this is the best thing for both of them.

June sighs, and Blaine hurries on.

"He would be happy to join us, though, if we were to invite him. He’s the sweetest guy, and I’m sure that if you just gave him a chance—"

"My dear, we can’t keep wasting so much time on this Kurt character you hold in such esteem, and quite foolishly, I might add. Perhaps he is everything you say he is, but I don’t see potential there."

"I do."

"Yes, that’s all very sweet, but if you want my assistance, you need to clear your head of everything that doesn’t contribute to your future. You may be a unique talent, Blaine, but I would consider my time better spent on a lesser talent with the necessary drive to make it than on someone who subscribes to useless ideals like true love."

Blaine pulls back from the phone to stare at it in disbelief. “Are you saying that I have to pick between my fiancé and my career?”

"Of course not, dear. You’re young, you should enjoy the benefits of having a partner your age while you both still have that youthful energy. However, getting married is another thing. I still believe that you should call it off before you end up getting divorced at the height of your career - that isn’t the kind of publicity you want. Getting married at your age in the first place doesn’t present a good image either, now I that I think about it."

"Kurt’s- I mean, he’s worth the risk, I think."

"I’m only telling you the truth based on all my years of watching and experiencing these things. We can take lunch tomorrow so you can spend time with your, uh, Kurt, but I’ll want to talk to you about your dedication to your personal future. In the meantime, this subject is closed. Agreed?"

Blaine closes his eyes and falls back into the couch. “Agreed.”

 

* * *

 

They meet at the Spotlight Diner since it’s a place they know well - and Kurt gets a discount, so that’s another bonus. They’re still on a diet together (not the crazy one they’d started with, but a much more reasonable one) so they each get a salad, Kurt frowning at the lack of flavor.

"Sometimes I wonder if being on a diet is really a good idea," he says with a sigh. "I miss eating whatever, whenever."

"But you look amazing," Blaine points out, gesturing to Kurt’s body with his fork.

"You say that like you think I didn’t look amazing before," Kurt says, but his tone makes it clear that he’s teasing. "I suppose it’s the difference between eating deliciously unhealthy foods but feeling unsatisfied with yourself, and eating bland to so-so healthy foods but being confident."

"Right. But, our self-confidence aside, I do miss eating the way we do on Sundays every day."

"God, me too."

Despite Kurt’s dissatisfaction, they’re both hungry enough to finish eating long before they’re due in their next class, which they share. Blaine attempts to come up with a riveting topic of conversation before Kurt brings June up again - but he fails.

"When do you see her again? Wait, you didn’t have plans for lunch today, did you?"

"No," Blaine says, biting the inside of his cheek, "of course not. I see her tomorrow, there’s someone she wants me to meet."

"A celebrity?"

"Unfortunately, no. But he must be rich and influential or she wouldn’t give a damn."

"Oh, come on." Kurt smiles at him and takes a sip of water before continuing. "She gives a damn about  _you_ , a college freshman from Ohio that sleeps in two different apartments depending on convenience. She knows what she’s doing.”

"I don’t know about that," Blaine says evasively. "We don’t agree on much."

"Which just makes it all the more amazing that you somehow got her to agree to let me perform at that showcase." Kurt bites his lip to keep his grin from spreading too wide. "Oops, sorry, that’s supposed to be hush-hush."

"No, no, it’s- fine, she’s not here or anything."

"Good, because I want to help brainstorm. For instance, do you think we’ll be doing a duet or separate solos? Oh, if we do solos, you could play the piano for my performance. That way everyone gets to see what a great pianist you are, too."

"That does sound nice."

"The audience at such an event probably wouldn’t appreciate too much flashiness," Kurt says, mostly to himself. Blaine stares at his three-quarters empty glass of soda, watching a drop of condensation roll down. "I might have tried too hard with Story of My Life, so I’ll need to tone it down if I want to get it right this time around. Something more Being Alive-esque. What do you think?"

"I’ve never seen you sing Being Alive."

"Oh, that’s right. It was very simple, mostly because it was very last-minute, but I think it had a kind of elegant feel to it as a result. That might just be me."

"No, I’m sure it was sophisticated and very upscale," Blaine says, shifting. "Nothing will be set in stone for this for a while, I don’t think."

"It’s coming up in only a few weeks," Kurt says, brows furrowed. "She’ll want to give you— well,  _us_ , time to prepare.”

"Oh, yeah."

"You know what, I’m sure that anything you guys come up with will be perfect. You don’t need me, not until the day of." Kurt sighs deeply, smiling. "This could change everything."

"That is definitely true," Blaine says through his teeth; Kurt, thankfully, doesn’t notice his reticence. "We should go, they’ll think we were making out in a classroom again if we walk in late."

"We could make that true and be late on purpose," Kurt says with a wink as he stands. "I kind of enjoy the talk about us that goes around that place."

"What great students we are," Blaine says, rolling his eyes. "Seriously though, I don’t want to be late again. I have grades to keep up."

"Nerd," Kurt teases fondly; he links their arms together after they leave the restaurant. "It means a lot to me that I’ll be joining you in that showcase, by the way. I know I keep saying that, but… I don’t know. It’s just such an amazing opportunity, and we get to take advantage of it together. It’s almost too good to be true, you know?"

"Yeah," Blaine says quietly. "I know."

Kurt doesn’t say any more on the subject - that is, not until they’re at Mercedes’ apartment for a spontaneous non-Monday dinner with their friends. Blaine thinks that Artie notices something off about their conversation, and then he starts imagining all of their friends somehow knowing the truth and waiting with bated breath for Blaine to just spill it already.

That’s just imagination, of course. Blaine’s sure that they don’t actually know anything. Maybe it’d be easier if they did - he’d  _have_  to tell Kurt then, he’d have to get it over with and deal with the repercussions which are sure to only get worse the longer he holds on to his secret.

He’s picking the easy way out by making sure that Kurt is happy  _now_ , and he is so aware of it that it hurts. But still he can’t bring himself to say it and have to watch that beautiful smile slip right off Kurt’s face, not again.

He’ll find the courage to suck it up and tell the truth at some point.

Hopefully that happens before it’s too late.


End file.
